literature

Sonnet XX

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Zark123's avatar
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Literature Text

In time this rime will stir uncounted minds
Each line, each sign shall point another path,
Yet every freight of wonder in whirlwinds
Will answer in bellows like absence's wrath.
And so here I save the unborn a key;
An eye to look upon epochs long past
And gaze with love at time's loved hemlock tree
To fathom all that is deceased did last.
They will say times were varied and diverse,
They will speak of context so as to speak
The world was different on a faded hearse,
They will not give you the mild words you seek,
Remember then we were mortal and thus,
In each profound creation, you are us.
 
And thus, I complete 20 sonnets today.

Poetry reading of this sonnet -> [link]
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jjm239's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

Why rime rather than rhyme?

Anyway, to my critique, which I promised you.

You use a lot of imagery, which contradicts my style of attempting to use as many literal objects as possible. However, it does still allow me to see through your message, which I had picked up immediately.

You speak of the desire for knowledge, especially the desire of knowledge for those who wish to explore, to discover the nuances of all things. Mentioning hemlock and mortality, you give the search for this knowledge a sense of futility. Nonetheless, it is still encouragement to learn anything and everything.

You delve into the search for history and into the quest to a future we will never know.