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Submitted on
August 22, 2012
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Dear Death, thou art shunned, yet I welcome thee,
I fear not thy shade nor thy trailing shroud,   
Whilst mankind greets thee with a teary plea
I shall embrace thee like a monsoon cloud.
Why men fear thy presence I cannot say,
Nor discern why in thy company, weep,
For life bears us all: love, woe, ceaseless sway,
But death, kind death, cares for every man's sleep.
My love for thee exceeds mortality,
And as seasons sweeten the sweetest wine,
Lend my fruitful years to vitality
And I shall remain eternally thine.
Ring my vows from my grave O timeless wife
We eloped at birth for the afterlife.
  


   

   
I think this is my best sonnet till date! Your thoughts? =D
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:iconoilux:
Official :iconlive-write-now:.

First off I want to point out how it is a sonnet. They are so hard to write and I never could write them.

First impression: Very interesting, of course in the good way. I love how you personified Death, by calling her a person and made her out not to be something really bad, but something that is going to be inevitable and not welcomed.

The third line, where you say 'teary plea', the phrase of that, well the meaning is so overused but you managed to make it sound brand new. The more I reread that line the more I like it because Death is something that many wish not to face.

'Monsoon cloud' is such an interesting analogy. I don't believe that I've ever heard of something being referred like that, but the more I think, the more it makes sense in my mind. Again, it goes with that though of something that cannot be prevented so it should be accepted.

I had to reread the last line three times to fully understand it, but it was well worth the time. In the end, we all belong to death, and I have to say that, its the end that makes me really like your poem. How you waited for her, and in the end when life finally let you go, you went with Death without a second thought.

All around, a wonderful poem. I hope to see more.
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:iconrocky-loves-emily:
rocky-loves-emily Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is another great piece, I really like the couplet. This is very sophisticated writing in my opinion.
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you =) That took a while to come up with to be honest. Paid off though =D
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:iconlaurabeez:
LauraBeez Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
" For life bears us all: love, woe, ceaseless sway,
But death, kind death, cares for every man's sleep. "

This is not only poetry. This is reality. And most of the times, reality is poetry. You've been able to transform life and death into words, into Poetry.
:iconclapplz: Great job :')
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! =D Thank you very much =)

On a side note, do you know any magazines that would like to publish amateur poetry like mine in London? I just went through your profile, and I noticed you're one of them London lovers =D
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:iconlaurabeez:
LauraBeez Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Of course I am.
Unfortunately, 3 days ago I came back to Italy, I had to. Uff...
But no, I'm sorry, I don't know any magazines... Why don't you have a look on the internet?
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Writer
Haha Italy is nice and sunny at this time of the year, non? England must be rather rainy. Nevertheless, I'll be there in less than a month, so I'll get to see for myself. I tried the internet...but I'm concerned about which magazines are genuine, and which ones will steal your work. That scares me to death.
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:iconlaurabeez:
LauraBeez Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Are you coming to Italy or to England?
Yeah, I can imagine your worry... I won't like peopel stealing my texts!! xD
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student Writer
England lol xD So I take it, you keep shuttling between the two countries? That's rad =D
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:iconlaurabeez:
LauraBeez Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I spend a bit in England.. I've just came back from ther, I stayed two months.. :)
but now I just have to finisch my last year of high school. Then... FREEDOM!!
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Student Writer
Which part of England do you visit? I'm going to begin my course in Loughborough real soon. 2 months? Lucky!
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