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Submitted on
August 4, 2012
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Oh conceded Lover I write to thee,
Though to thou in words I shall be no more.
What I lost in love, thou hast lost in me,
For I lost thine act, and thou, my adore.
While thou hast gained another's love, anon,
And cast away thine hollow yesterdays,
Mine love, sworn to the yonder morrows-- gone!--   
Still looks thither with False Hope's hopeful gaze.
Alas! Albeit these incomplete dreams  
I thank thee for its wondrous prelude,
Now my quill covets for other themes
Which upon thy coming grew accrued.
Had our love endured, I'd remove thy guise,
And thou, in my sonnet, immortalize.
Thank You for reading =D
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:iconshehrozeameen:
The only problem I have is this portion

Mine love, sworn to the yonder morrows-- gone!--
Still looks thither with False Hope's hopeful gaze.


Apart from that, I like this work; its dispairful, its a beckoning on part of the poet yearning to be understood as a human being and not as a mere tool. In a way, it reminds me of Lord Byron's "Maid of Athens" and "And Death Shall Have no Dominion" by Dylan Thomas. Its a wonderful read and a wonderful message: except those two lines above.

The only reason I highlight them is that they're... a break from the usual pacing of this poem. Removing them still kept the message intact, in my opinion. But I digress; this is an opinion, and it shouldn't affect how you wote it.

Nevertheless, bravo, its a well written sonnet.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I forgot how hard sonnets were until I tried writing one again yesterday ^^; They have to not only sound beautiful but also have a great idea behind it. Good job executing both.
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you very much =) The constraints of a sonnet make writing one tedious, but if well executed, it becomes a memorable piece!
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:iconzombiesplice:
zombiesplice Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Student Writer
well done
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you =)
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:iconzombiesplice:
zombiesplice Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Student Writer
of corse ^^
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