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Poems and fan fics by YuiHarunaShinozaki

The-Poetry-land by A7XFan666

Vigillum by shehrozeameen


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Submitted on
January 22, 2013
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273 bytes
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1,061 (1 today)
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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Recedes the white
Out of the year
Bemoan the night
In wintry tear.

Alas! Away
A reign of snow;
Can spring preserve  
The grace of woe?
A look outside, and the poet is born.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
Your rispetto (though not technically a rispetto, but because of its construction and its coherence, I'll call it that) is good.

This work, in itself, is entirely up to the reader to decide what they feel and how they take into consideration the romanticism of this poem. Others, however, could take it in a Frost form of cynical naturalism. That is the key - the openness with which this work speaks of how the winter makes way for spring, leaving the protagonist to wonder whether the winter can preserve what spring could not.

Or even for that matter, whether spring could preserve, what winter could not?

In any case, the use of two juxtapositions to keep the ending open is good. Its an abstract idea (to this critic) so I'll take it as I see it:

a poem speaking of the coming of winter, wherein we must tread with caution. A sound word of advice to anyone who is willing to look out of the window: Do not go gentle into that good night.
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:icona7xfan666:
A7XFan666 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Wonderful :3
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you =)
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:icona7xfan666:
A7XFan666 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
welcome :3
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:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your poetry is awesome! you might consider thoughtful previews on some of them for some extra zip.
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! =D What do you mean by thoughtful previews?
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:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i see you do have a few. just well selected cover pics too match your themes.
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Student Writer
Ah, now I follow you. I have no idea how to put a cover picture to accompany my poems. Is there a guide somewhere?
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:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it is simple. when you submit art, it asks you to choose a preview. when you select, it allows you to upload a file (pic) from your computer. simple as that! p.s. Chandevi is your new best fan lol I told her how good you were, now she's raving!
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:iconzark123:
Zark123 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Student Writer
Haha, I can see that! Thanks a lot for recommending my work, I appreciate it!

Also, I'll give it a go with my next poem! =D
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:iconchandevi:
Chandevi Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
may i ask what inspires you to write?
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