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Literature Text
A man who needs a rifle
To assert his words in lead,
Can never rally his nerves
Like the man who's fallen dead.
The eyes of the hunter twitch
While the eyes of the hunted stare,
There is acceptance in silence
As there never was in a prayer.
He who preserves his mettle
For the rawest imbrued breath,
Smiles cordially at his killer
Before he conquers death.
To assert his words in lead,
Can never rally his nerves
Like the man who's fallen dead.
The eyes of the hunter twitch
While the eyes of the hunted stare,
There is acceptance in silence
As there never was in a prayer.
He who preserves his mettle
For the rawest imbrued breath,
Smiles cordially at his killer
Before he conquers death.
Literature
Everything You Borrowed
On Sunday afternoon,
after exiting the church,
you plucked the sun from the sky
and hid it in your palms
so that when I held your hands
they would no longer be cold.
When Monday night arrived
you snatched every single star
and used my tears to make
a necklace.
Tuesday's empty dawn shone
through the cracks of the door--
you stole the promise of what
could never be
and draped it around my shoulders.
After Wednesday's twilight passed,
you grabbed the clouds
and wove a tapestry of lies
that I hung on the walls
of my prison.
Thursday crept through us
on silent tiptoes,
waiting for us to take notice--
instead, we merely waited
for midnight to
Literature
Midnight Thought Process
Perhaps the trees live so long because they have no idea how long they've been around.
I stood with my wine glass and cigarette staring into the night as I heard the sound of fireworks, I wondered if the giant tree before me knew it was new years. There is nothing different from 11:59 to 12:00 yet we feel like it's a world away, because we judge many things in time, and we keep track of time in years.
I sat hugging a pillow, watching a 4 month old baby sleeping during his dream-feed and I wondered if the baby knew it was a boy. There is nothing different from a boy baby and a girl baby yet we feel like we have to define them because we judg
Literature
What I gave you
I unfairly gave you,
Many wonders this world doesn't own
Many pipe dreams I painted for you
The rainbow butterfly of my love
Gentle treasures buried in my very soul
The phial of my affection...
...That you drank in one go
Drying me to my last heartbeat.
You gave me ashes back
Sealed in a mocking funeral urn.
Even bullets couldn't wound me
As much as your sadistic smile.
Despite leaving me all alone, again
I still forgive you. I still believe in you.
On the gloomy road
And I walk, and I cry, and I feel
A chill of loneliness.
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'I knew a man once who said, "Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."' ~ General Maximus Decimus Meridius, Gladiator (2000)
Comments11
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
vision: the writer definitely delivers their point without flogging a deceased equine. the motive thought is reiterated in each stanza in fresh language and images.
originality: i can't say there aren't OTHER poems on the subject, but the brisk sharpness of the delivery subject matter definitely is different from most poems about death or killing i have come across, which tend to get too maudlin or morbid.
technique: the stark delivery and curt rhymes reinforce the fluidity of the piece rather than becoming sing-songy, which is always a danger with this type of form.
impact: right between the eyes: a kill shot.